1524km, 1 car accident, 1 broken toe and a funeral

We're home! It's always so nice to be home after being away, I guess especially when it isn't for a lovely holiday, it's for a funeral. (Ok, I wrote this last Saturday after we'd got back the day before, it's now Wednesday and I just have time to continue writing so forgive me...)

We left here at 7:30am on Tuesday. After 3 stops (1 for breakfast, 1 for lunch and 1 to visit Grandad T) we arrived at our destination at 4:59pm.. What a day! The girls were really well behaved considering we spent 8+ hours stuck in the car.. and with no 21st century means of entertainment, just some good old fashioned games that I used to play when I was a girl! We had some sing-a-longs, a few books and of course a game of "I Spy." My secret weapon of the week was my Candyland bribe. On the way down Andrew stupidly pointed it out and we were bombarded with pleas of going there. We already had a few lollies for the drive down so I said we'd go back on the way instead and thus, I had a perfect bribe for the next few days... "Remember, if you're good we'll stop at Candyland.... Are you two going to fight or would you rather go to Candyland?" Genius!!

So, onto the funeral and all the related stuff. It was my mum's dad that passed away. The two uncle's that I am going to talk about are her brothers who also live in Wellington. Uncle Andrew's (who I will call Uncle A so we don't get confused between the Andrews) partner, Aunt B is Maori and Uncle Paul's partner is Cook Island - Maori.

On Sunday Uncle A called and he'd just been up to see Grandad (he was in a home when he passed away) and that the undertaker was coming to get him in the next hour or so. We were having a talk and he said that he and Aunt B wanted to take Grandad home.. For anyone who doesn't know, this is something that the Maori do, it isn't something that we typically do so at first I'm sitting there thinking, OK.. this is weird. I didn't want Grandad's funeral to turn into something that was what they wanted rather than what he wanted so I mentioned something to my uncle about the fact that no offence, but this is something they (being the Maoris) do, not us. He said that he didn't want his Dad laying in a freezer down at the funeral home for the next 3 days. Fair enough, so that was that. On Tuesday afternoon he calls me and asks me if we want to go over that night to see Grandad.. We have a think about it and decide that we'll go. After all, it's our last chance. So we get to Uncle A's house and there are mattresses layed out in the lounge (This is another Maori tradition. They put all their mattresses in the lounge and the coffin is also put on a mattress. They all sleep in the same room with the deceased and there is always someone in the room). At first I couldn't see the coffin when I looked because there were people all sitting around but then.... Grandad was VERY skinny and very pale. It's hard to explain but I guess he looked like a mannequin you see in the store. It was pretty shocking at first given that I have only seen 1 body before, and that was of my Uncle who passed away from a brain tumour at home. He had a bed set up in the lounge and the morning after he died (at 2am) we went around to the house and he was still there. I know it's a cliche, but he really just looked like he was sleeping. Grandad did NOT look like that. After a while it wasn't so weird.. you know that you want to look but you don't kind of feeling and it felt kind of nice.. everyone else was relaxed and we sat there on mattresses around Grandad sharing stories and looking at photos (I KNOW some of you are reading this thinking it is creepy or whatever and I totally get you, but it wasn't)

Anyway, the funeral the next day was really nice. I was actually able to get up and read a verse we'd picked out, YES, the emotional basket-case I am I DID IT! I actually think one of the only reasons I was able to was because I had seen Grandad the day before, I had seen just how sick he had been. Just how much he suffered and at that point I was able to pull myself together and think for the first time in my life that at least he isn't suffering anymore. I am satisfied with that.

Miss Me But Let Me Go
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little - but not too long
And now with your head bowed low
Remember the love - the fun we shared
Miss me, but let me go


For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone
It's all part of the master's plan.
A step on the road back home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friend you know,
And bury your sorrow, by getting on with life,
Miss me, but let me go.

The Day You Left
With tears we saw you suffer
As we watched you fade away;
Our hearts were almost broken
As you fought so hard to stay.


We knew you had to leave us
But you never went alone,
For part of us went with you
The day you left for home.

R.I.P Grandad ♥

I didn't proof read this or anything, so if it doesn't make sense then you know why. As for the title of the blog, I'll get around to the car accident and the broken toe thing later in the week...