Men are from Mars and are totally deluded

Andrew and I have talked, amazing right? Don't go getting excited.. That’s not to say that we have made any progress because that would just be too easy, and what’s the point in life if it’s easy? (In fact, I think talking has made it worse. Can we go back to avoiding each other please?)

He is not really willing to budge and I just wouldn’t be a responsible parent (or human being) if I agreed to have a baby that I didn’t even want, and that I could possibly resent for the rest of my life. We’ve talked about this but I think it goes in one ear and out the other. That or he thinks I am being melodramatic and that one day in the next couple of weeks I’ll wake up and decide that I should really have a baby. Right. Now.

I have been thinking about this pretty much 24/7 lately. When you don’t have your soul mate (I am starting to believe this soul mate business is a load of BS) with you, like they always are and many of your other friends avoid you like that plague because they don’t know what to say, there’s not much left to do but sit and think.

So from about 8:30pm to Midnight (or sometimes even later) I think about everything. Literally, everything. Pretending that I can’t get pregnant (not that I would actually do this, but like I said, I have thought about everything), getting pregnant and dealing with it, getting divorced, working this all out…

Then I thought about maybe getting KU and Andrew can be a SAHD. He can walk the girls to school, spend the day cleaning, feeding the baby, changing the baby, entertaining the baby, washing. Then he can pick the girl’s up from school, help them with their homework, make sure they have a bath. I’ll work till 5pm, come home to a cooked dinner and beautifully behaved children. I’ll complain about how hard my day was, sit on the couch and watch my favourite shows. Then when I can muster up enough energy I’ll go to bed. While I sleep he gets up in the middle of the night, once or twice, or maybe even three times to deal with the baby.
No wonder he laughed at me when I suggested this.

I am just so, so pissed off with him right now. Apparently this would be “only a year” of my life (9 months KU + 3 months maternity leave) Ummmm HELL-O oh mighty deluded one this is a child, a little human being who is dependent on YOU and ME for the next 18 + years. This is not JUST A YEAR of my life.

Did I really marry someone who can act like such an asshole?
Does he even want to try and work this out?
Does he even care?

I am so fucking over this. The D word looms.