The best things in life, aren’t things

It’s happiness… because let’s be honest, you can have it all but without happiness it means nothing.

It’s been a wake up week around here. I actually started blogging about this on Sunday but then I decided I should write about Sydney while I still remembered. Unfortunately, now I have another person to add to this blog topic.

Today my 15 year old sister attended the funeral of a boy in her English class. On Tuesday my 21 year old sister went to the funeral of a guy she went to school with and last Friday my 19 year old sister remembered how one year ago she lost a good friend. What have they all got in common? They took their own lives.

I’m not entirely sure what it is about this time of year, maybe the fact that summer’s just ended and the cold, miserable winter is on it’s way but it makes people feel crappy, and kill themselves.
Seriously. April, can you just go away now?

The whole thing just saddens me so, so much and not because I judge them for doing this. I don’t think they are selfish or anything at all like that. I think it’s tragic that someone can seem to be so happy, and have so much and still be so miserable, so miserable that they think there is nothing left to do but die.

It’s sad.

It’s sad that Allan went and saw his grandmother the week before he died, that he visited his parents one last time. It’s sad that he spent time at the building site, sitting there looking at the crane thinking about using it to hang himself off.

The fact that anyone has to even think like that is just sad.

The fact that Cherell took her own life less than a week before her 19th birthday, that she left behind an 8 month old daughter. That she sat down and wrote a letter that raised more questions than answers is sad. That she picked out the songs for her funeral, that she asked everyone to wear pink, to celebrate her life. A life she didn’t even want to live.

Sad.

She was such a beautiful person, inside and out. She was full of energy, loved to have a good time. She adored her daughter more than you could imagine and she had a ton of friends.

It’s just confusing, and so hard to understand.

But then again, I’m sure she’s not the first person who has gone out there with a brave face and pretended that everything in life is peachy, couldn’t be better. We’ve all done it.



Those we love are never really lost to us - we feel them in so many special ways. Through friends they always cared about, and dreams they left behind, in beauty that they added to our days - in words of wisdom we still carry with us, and memories that never will be gone. Those we love are never really lost to us, for everywhere their special love lives on.

Cherell, Allan & Ryan. RIP. Hope you have found the happiness you deserve.