Time heals no man...

Because I won't have time tomorrow to do this, and because such an amazing person deserves acknowledgment in my blog, I want to do a little something today. BUT since I have had a long day at work I am just about ready to pass out and if I have to write anything slightly emotional I will probably fall to pieces, I'm going to be a cheat and copy the blog I wrote last year, because really, nothing has changed. We haven't healed anymore, we are still suffering a loss, an important part of our family is still missing and my cousins are still fatherless.

Tomorrow is 5 years since my uncle passed away...

4 5 years ago yesterday tomorrow our family lost an amazing, fun-loving, 36 year old husband and father of two. 4 5years ago my 3 and 5 year old cousins watched their father leaving their house for the very last time. It almost seems unreal that it's actually been 4 5 years. Times change, people "move on" or so they say. I think when you actually sit down and really think about the person you lost, remember the weird things they liked (blue vein cheese, ew!), the odd things they could do (wiggle his ears) and how you felt when you lost them nothing has really changed at all. I can remember everything from those last few days; how even though it was only less than 48 hours before he passed away and he was slipping in and out of a coma he still managed to share his cheeky humour with us one last time and how he managed to hang on until 2am when he knew his wife was going to get up and check on him and also so he wouldn't pass away on Auntie Chris' birthday (the 6th). Even up until the last minute he was worried about others.

I remember how Kellie and I baked you chocolate-chip cookies only to realise that you couldn't eat chocolate because of the treatment you were having so Kellie offered to pick out the chocolate so you could eat the biscuit part! I remember how it was September when we knew that it was no longer a matter of if, it was a matter of when and how they told us you had 3 -6 months and you were gone within one. I remember how you told us if it rains on the day of your funeral you must've been a good person, it POURED on the day of yours. I'm sure you had a good laugh over that! I remember how towards then end you took the break off your wheelchair when you were on holiday and almost sent yourself catapulting into Lake Taupo, and how furious Aunty Isobel was. You always were the goofy one.

So I have to admit I'm feeling a bit guilty. I don't like going to cemeteries.. I know, I know, who in their right mind does? I just don't feel like a headstone, a few half-dead flowers and a couple of crappy ornaments is a true representation of the person that lays beneath. This is probably why I haven't been since the beginning of 2004 but I'm sure that wherever you are, you understand. We still think about you and we will always wonder whether if it wasn't for a medical mistake you would still be here or if a brain tumour is just one of those things that is far too difficult to beat.

In memory of a truely amazing Uncle and all the wonderful times we had together.
16.12.1966 - 07.10.2003

Miss you always.